Im cristian and im thinking about becomin an athiest?

im cristian but now i want to be an athiest because heaven and god dont seem very realistic. i know jesus was real but i dont know if he really rose from the dead and i think the bible stories are made up and just lessons on how to live. if so what is the afterlife. is it just 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.… of nothing?!